“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” “Answer. That you are here — that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.” That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?” — John Keating (Robin Williams), Dead Poets Society
In a beautiful film, what an amazing delivery by Robin Williams…
He breathed such life into Whitman’s words that many of us were left pondering, what’s my verse? If it was my book, Playing Doctor, well, it’s a pretty lighthearted, silly verse.
I did partake in one of the aforementioned “noble” pursuits. I did help people, which was great, but never felt necessary in sustaining life. Writing however, felt necessary. Whether typing out blog type emails to friends late night while on call in med school, or scribbling a film script in pencil at the coffee shop each morning en route to the hospital during residency, or writing the book, Playing Doctor—there were many other things to do, but I felt compelled to write.
Why do we take time to write, to create books, films, poetry, theater? Certainly not for money. So far films and books have cost far, far more than they return – and that’s just the financial side. The time requirements are ludicrous.
I’m guessing for most people who write, or create, there is the sense, how could I not? As difficult as it can be to sit and write, the day feels incomplete and I become grumpy if I don’t at least edit a page. And that internal desire to write, whether for pleasure, for escape, to journal, whatever the reason, is in itself… perfect, and should be “enough.”
But when people first asked why I wrote this book (Playing Doctor), I didn’t have any great answer.
I have friends creating books, films, and other platforms with truly noble goals: raising awareness against systemic racism, fighting sexism, fighting poverty, defending women’s safety and inherent rights, if only to safely walk through a campus without being harassed, shining a light on disability, making sure families have food—even I can answer what gets them out of bed in the morning, and attracts followers to their causes.
But my work is not a cause. This was me writing the stories I found entertaining from my attempts at training to be a doctor. The film scripts I have written are equally written with stories that I felt compelled to write, not because I thought they would change the world.
For all the time spent on these books, those scripts—time away from kids, sleep, friends, and fun recreation, I often wondered, why am I doing this, who will ever read this? I inspiration from Faulkner’s words in his Nobel prize acceptance speech to find inspiration for why we write…and again, his words speak to the real poets and story tellers that remind us of human virtues. I didn’t fall into that category of writer.
https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/literature/1949/faulkner/speech/
The one thing perhaps that connects my writing, is that I like seeing people overcome obstacles, especially the self-imposed, to achieve something neither they, nor others thought likely or possible, perhaps finally finding the courage to share their verse.
I certainly did not live up to such lofty and inspired writing. But I wanted to write, always, words flow more easily and authentically when I write compared to what brokenly trips off my tongue. Did it scare me to actually publish these books. Absolutely.
I heard a wonderful podcaster, heartfelt and inspiring, Cathy Heller, say something like: you have a moral responsibility to share your work, there might just be one person out there who needs what you are writing.” I loved that…and she went on, “Just because there are a thousand other pizza resturants out there, none are the one you are building, and went on to mention all sorts of writers, singers, whose work we would have never known if they had been thwarted by the idea that there were already another 1000 songs out there.” Totally paraphrasing that last bit…
So, if I could contribute a verse that made my children see, by my actions, that I was willing to pursue my dreams along the path I feel called to follow, even if only a few people enjoyed it and it made them laugh, maybe sightly improved their day, or inspired one person to pursue their own path, medical or other…then all my excuses, being scared, embarrassed, trolled, etc. about sharing my work (Resistance, as Steven Pressfield would remind us, being a sign you are on the right path)– if my verse is only that my kids one day are themselves willing to step forward, and against similar fears or self doubt, walk their authentic path, then, however silly this book, I hope I have shared a worthwhile verse.